Wednesday, March 2, 2011

crisis and continue

I don't really know where I am going with this post. I will start by saying I lost a dear friend last week, exactly a week from today. She was 47. She leaves her 13 yr old son and her husband behind. My heart has been heavy and my mind muddled for the last week. She was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on Dec. 29th and we knew she had a slim chance if any for a long term survival. She left us quickly after a short 7 weeks.

Her passing has me thinking about many things in my own life. Reflecting on what I have, what I want, where am I going, what is important. Yet those moments of clarity seem to exist only briefly. Mostly I just feel lost, not sure of my own value. Questioning my own abilities and worth. Kind of weird, but that is where I find myself these days.

Do I start drawing? Do I try to paint? It seems what always came easily and with determination and grit, is misplaced right now.

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